1.Minimum Wage
Vocal：John Flansburgh
Minimum Wage!
2.Meet James Ensor
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
Meet James Ensor
Belgium's famous painter
Dig him up and shake his hand
Appreciate the man
Before there were junk stores
Before there was junk
He lived with his mother and the torments of Christ
The world was transformed
A crowd gathered round
Pressed against his window so they could be the first
To meet James Ensor
Belgium's famous painter
Raise a glass and sit and stare
Understand the man
He lost all his friends
He didn't need his friends
He lived with his mother and repeated himself
The world has forgotten
The world moved along
The crowd at his window went back to their homes
Meet James Ensor
Meet James Ensor
Belgium's famous painter
Dig him up and shake his hand
Appreciate the man
3.Particle Man
Vocal：John Linnell
Particle man, particle man
Doing the things a particle can
What's he like？ It's not important
Particle man
Is he a dot, or is he a speck？
When he's underwater does he get wet？
Or does the water get him instead？
Nobody knows, Particle man
Triangle man, Triangle man
Triangle man hates particle man
They have a fight, Triangle wins
Triangle man
Universe man, Universe man
Size of the entire universe man
Usually kind to smaller man
Universe man
He's got a watch with a minute hand,
Millenium hand and an eon hand
When they meet it's a happy land
Powerful man, universe man
Person man, person man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Person man
Is he depressed or is he a mess？
Does he feel totally worthless？
Who came up with person man？
Degraded man, person man
Triangle man, triangle man
Triangle man hates person man
They have a fight, triangle wins
Triangle man
4.Don't Let's Start
Vocal：John Linnell
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
When you are alone you are the cat, you are the phone
You are an animal
The words I'm singing now
Mean nothing more than meow to an animal
Wake up and smell the cat food in your bank account
But don't try to stop the tail that wags the hound
D, world destruction
Over and overture
N, do I need
Apostrophe T, need this torture？
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is
beautiful
Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful
They want what they're not and I wish they would stop saying,
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa
D, world destruction
Over and overture
N, do I need
Apostrophe T, need this torture？
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
I don't want to live in this world anymore
I don't want to live in this world
Don't don't don't let's start
This is the worst part
Could believe for all the world
That you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around
5.She's An Angel
Vocal：John Linnell
I met someone at the dog show
She was holding my left arm
But everyone was acting normal so I tried to look nonchalant.
We both said, 'I really love you,'
The Shriners loaned us cars
We raced up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times
Why did they send her over anyone else？
How should I react？ These things happen to other people
They don't happen at all, in fact
When you're following an angel
Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building？
Somewhere they're meeting on a pinhead
Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest things
I heard they had a space program
When they sing you can't hear, there's no air
Sometimes I think I kind of like that and
Other times I think I'm already there
Gonna ask for my admission
Gonna speak to the man in charge
The secretary says he's on another line,
Can I hold for a long, long time？
I found out she's an angel
I don't think she knows I know
I'm worried that something might happen to me
If anyone ever finds out
Why, why did they send her over anyone else？
How should I react？ These things happen to other people
They don't happen at all
When you're following an angel
Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building？
Somewhere they're meeting on a pinhead
Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest things
I heard they had a space program
When they sing you can't hear, there's no air
Sometimes I think I kind of like that and
Other times I think I'm already there
When you're following an angel
Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building？
Somewhere they're meeting on a pinhead
Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest things
6.Cyclops Rock
I taught you how to cyclops rock
And then you go and turn around and break my heart
And waste my cyclops time and mess up my cyclops mind
I'm sick like chuckie was sick, my defeated heart keeps beating
on
I won't die, like chuckie won't die, but I'm not here to
socialize
Gotta find a new place to hang out, because I'm tired of living
in hell
I'm a mess since you cut me out but chuckie's arm keeps me
company
I'm a fright with my tombstone smile
All the children run away from me
Gotta find new friends to hang with because you're all afraid of
me
I taught you how to cyclops rock
And then you go and turn around and break my heart
And waste my cyclops time and mess up my cyclops mind
It was sweet like lead paint is sweet but the after effects left
me paralyzed
I just stare with my one glass eye hoping you won't be back
again
There's a whole new generation waiting to be wrecked by you
I taught you how to cyclops rock
And then you go and turn around and break my heart
And waste my cyclops time and mess up my cyclops mind
I taught you how to cyclops rock
And then you go and turn around and break my heart
And waste my cyclops time and mess up my cyclops mind
7.Istanbul(Not Constantinople)
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night
Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting in Istanbul
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way
So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works？
That's nobody's business but the Turks
Istanbul (Istanbul)
Istanbul (Istanbul)
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way
Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works？
That's nobody's business but the Turks
So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works？
That's nobody's business but the Turks
Istanbul
Notes
The second-to-last verse (chorus) is often skipped live.
8.Purple Toupee
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
I remember the year I went to camp
I heard about some lady named Selma and some blacks
Somebody put their fingers in the President's ears
It wasn't too much later they came out with Johnson's wax
I remember the book depository where they crowned the king of
Cuba
Now that's all I can think of, but I'm sure there's something
else
Way down inside me I can feel it coming back
Purple toupee will show the way when summer brings you down
(Purple toupee when summer brings you down)
Purple toupee and gold lame will turn your brain around
(Purple toupee and gold lame)
Chinese people were fighting in the park
We tried to help them fight, no one appreciated that
Martin X was mad when they outlawed bell bottoms
Ten years later they were sharing the same cell
I shouted out, 'Free the Expo '67'
Till they stepped on my hair, and they told me I was fat
Now I'm very big, I'm a big important man
And the only thing that's different is underneath my hat
Purple toupee will show the way when summer brings you down
(Purple toupee when summer brings you down)
Purple toupee and gold lame will turn your brain around
(Purple toupee and gold lame)
Purple toupee is here to stay after the hair has gone away
The purple brigade is marching from the grave
We're on some kind of mission
We have an obligation
We have to wear toupees
9.James K. Polk
Vocal：John Linnell
In 1844, the Democrats were split
The three nominees for the presidential candidate
Were Martin Van Buren, a former president and an abolitionist
James Buchanan, a moderate
Louis Cass, a general and expansionist
From Nashville came a dark horse riding up
He was James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump
Austere, severe, he held few people dear
His oratory filled his foes with fear
The factions soon agreed
He's just the man we need
To bring about victory
Fulfill our manifest destiny
And annex the land the Mexicans command
And when the votes were cast the winner was
Mister James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump
In four short years he met his every goal
He seized the whole southwest from Mexico
Made sure the tarriffs fell
And made the English sell the Oregon territory
He built an independent treasury
Having done all this he sought no second term
But precious few have mourned the passing of
Mister James K. Polk, our eleventh president
Young Hickory, Napoleon of the Stump
Notes
There was a 'censored' version of this song that corrected a
couple of factual errors.
It involved substituting 'restored the independent treasury' and
a few other minor details.
10.Birdhouse In Your Soul
Vocal：John Linnell
I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
I have a secret to tell
From my electrical well
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
So the room must listen to me
Filibuster vigilantly
My name is blue canary one note＊ spelled l-i-t-e
My story's infinite
Like the Longines Symphonette it doesn't rest
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am
There's a picture opposite me
Of my primitive ancestry
Which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free
Though I respect that a lot
I'd be fired if that were my job
After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts
Bluebird of friendliness
Like guardian angels its always near
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
(and while you're at it
Keep the nightlight on inside the
Birdhouse in your soul)
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're
at it)
Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're
at it)
Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Notes
The dial-a-song version has the following significantly altered
lyrics：
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
He watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say i'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
I have a secret to tell
Out when you're all by yourself
There's a time when even you get up and leave your nothing to
dwell
I don't want to talk about that
And no one listens to that
But for the one who does, and she's the one you worry about
Don't you say anything
If you have anything to do with it
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
He watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say i'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
I'd like to cover the earth
With a fresh-baked yummy dessert
People couldn't live in it, but i think it's worth the money and
hurt
'cause i couldn't tolerate
All the empty places in the world
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
He watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say i'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
I don't feel thirty
Give me something to write on
I don't feel three hundred
Give me something to write on
11.Ana Ng
Vocal：John Linnell
Make a hole with a gun perpendicular
To the name of this town in a desk-top globe
Exit wound in a foreign nation
Showing the home of the one this was written for
My apartment looks upside down from there
Water spirals the wrong way out the sink
And her voice is a backwards record
It's like a whirlpool and it never ends
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
All alone at the '64 World's Fair
Eighty dolls yelling 'Small girl after all'
Who was at the Dupont Pavilion？
Why was the bench still warm？ Who had been there？
Or the time when the storm tangled up the wire
To the horn on the pole at the bus depot
And in the back of the edge of hearing
These are the words the voice was repeating：
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
When I was driving once I saw this painted on a bridge：
'I don't want the world, I just want your half'
They don't need me here, and I know you're there (don't need me)
Where the world goes by like the humid air (world goes by)
And it sticks like a broken record
Everything sticks like a broken record
Everything sticks until it goes away (it goes home)
And the truth is, we don't know anything (don't know)
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic
presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me
for you
12.The Guitar(The Lion Sleeps Tonight)
Vocal：John Flansburgh／Laura Cantrell
Hey
Who's that playing
Hey
The guitar？
Is it Jim？
I don't know
Is it Jim？
I don't know
In the spaceship, the silver space ship, the lion takes control
In the spaceship, the silver space ship, the lion takes control
Hey
Who's that playing
Hey
The guitar？
Hush my darling, be still my darling, the lion's on the phone
Hush my darling, be still my darling, the lion's on the phone
Hush my darling, be still my darling
Hey
Hush my darling, be still my darling
Hey
Turn it up
The guitar
I can't hear
The guitar
In the spaceship, the silver space ship, the lion waves good-bye
In the spaceship, the silver space ship, the lion waves good-bye
Hey
Who's that playing
Hey
The guitar？
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Notes
The following are the lyrics to the Even Further Outer Planet
Mix. For Outer Planet Mix lyrics, insert these into the original
song where appropriate.
I'd like to take this opportunity to ask every person listening
in, whoever and wherever they may be, to pause for a moment and
to give thanks in his or her own way
All the people on this earth are truly one
All the people on this earth are truly one
Peace and tranquility
Peace and tranquility
Peace and tranquility
Peace and tranquility
Peace and tranquility
Tranquility base
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind
All the people on this earth are truly one
All the people on this earth are truly one
Peace and tranquility
Peace and tranquility
Peace and tranquility
Peace and tranquility
Peace and tranquility
Tranquility base
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind
13.Bangs
Bangs
Above your eyes your hair hangs
Blow my mind your royal flyness I dig your bangs
Bangs
To drape across your forehead
To swing concordant angles as you incline your head
Once with a girl I fell in love sometime ago now she had...
Bangs
Are that on which the world hangs
I'm only holding your hand so I can look at your bangs
Bangs
Are like a pocket t-shirt
As casual as that while fully intentional
And in case you think I'm here cause I like making chit chat
Just remember what I said the money's under your hat
Bangs
Are that on which the world hangs
I'm only holding your hand so I can look at your bangs
Bangs
Above your eyes your hair hangs
Blow my mind your royal flyness I dig your bangs
Bangs
To drape across your forehead
To swing concordant angles as you incline your head
And although I like you anyway, check out your haircut
A proscenium to stage a face that needs no makeup
Bangs
Are that on which the world hangs
I'm only holding your hand so I can look at your bangs
I'm only holding your hand so I can look at your bangs
14.The Statue Got Me High
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
The statue got me high
The statue got me high
The monument of granite sent a beam into my eye
The statue made me die
The statue made me die
It took my hand it killed me and it turned me to the sky
The stone it called to me
(And now I see the things the stone has shown to me)
A rock that spoke a word
(An animated mineral it can be heard)
And though I once preferred a human being's company
They pale before the monolith that towers over me
The statue got me high
The statue got me high
The truth is where the sculptor's chisel chipped away the lie
The statue made me fry
The statue made me fry
My coat contained a furnace where there used to be a guy
The stone it called to me
(And now I see the things the stone has shown to me)
A rock that spoke a word
(An animated mineral it can be heard)
And as the screaming fire engine siren filled the air
The evidence had vanished from my charred and smoking chair
And what they found was just a statue
Standing where the statue got me high
And what they found was just a statue
Standing where the statue got me high
And now it is your turn
(Your turn to hear the stone and then your turn to burn)
The stone it calls to you
(You can't refuse to do the things it tells you to)
And as the screaming fire engine siren fills the air
The evidence will vanish from your charred and smoking chair
And what they found was just a statue
Standing where the statue got me high
And what they'll find is just a statue
Standing where the statue got you high
15.New York City
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
You called me last night on the telephone
And I was glad to hear from you 'cause I was all alone
You said, 'It's snowing, it's snowing! God, I hate this
weather.'
Now I walk through blizzards just to get us back together
We met in the springtime at a rock-and-roll show
It was on the Bowery when it was time to go
We kissed on the subway in the middle of the night
I held your hand, you held mine, it was the best night of my
life.
'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to
see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me
Statue of Liberty, Staten Island Ferry, Co-op City, Katz's and
Tiffany's＊
Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge, The Empire State where Dylan
lived＊＊
Coney Island and Times Square, Rockefeller Center
Wish I was there
You wrote me a letter just the other day
Said, 'Springtime is coming soon so why don't you come to stay.'
I packed my stuff, got on the bus, I can't believe it's true
I'm three days from New York City and I'm three days from you
'Cause everyone's my friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to
see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me
'Cause everyone's my friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to
see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me.
Notes
＊Original cub version： 'Breakfast at Tiffany's.'
＊＊Original cub version： 'where King Kong lived.'
16.Doctor Worm
Vocal：John Linnell
My name is Dr. Worm.
Good morning. How are you？ I'm Dr. Worm.
I'm interested in things.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm.
I live like a worm.
I like to play the drums.
I think I'm getting good,
But I can handle criticism.
I'll show you what I know,
And you can tell me if you think I'm getting better on the
drums.
I'll leave the front un-locked 'cause I can't
Hear the doorbell
When I get into it I can't tell if you are
Watching me twirling the stick.
When I give the signal, my friend
Rabbi Vole will pay the solo
Some day somebody else besides me will
Call me by my stage name, they will
Call me Dr Worm.
Good Morning how are you, I'm Dr Worm
I'm interested in things.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm.
I live like a worm.
I like to play the drums.
I think I'm getting good,
But I can handle criticism.
I'll show you what I know,
And you can tell me if you think I'm getting better on the
drums.
I'm not a real doctor,
But they call me Dr. Worm.
17.Boss of Me
Yes, no, maybe
I don't know
Can you repeat the question？
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
Life is unfair, so I just stare at the stain on the wall where
The TV'd been, but ever since we've moved in it's been empty
Why I, why I'm in this room
There is no point explaining
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
Life is a test, and I confess
I like this mess I've made so far
Grade on a curve and you'll observe
I'm right below the horizon
Yes, no, maybe, I don't know
Can you repeat the question？
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
Life is unfair
18.Your Racist Friend
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend
It was the loveliest party that I've ever attended
If anything was broken I'm sure it could be mended
My head can't tolerate this bobbing and pretending
Listen to some bullet-head and the madness that he's saying
This is where the party ends
I'll just sit here wondering how you
Can stand by your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
You and your racist friend
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend
Out from the kitchen to the bedroom to the hallway
Your friend apologizes, he could see it my way
He let the contents of the bottle do the thinking
Can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend
Notes
Most alternate versions are very similar. The farthest removed
is the 'extended mix' Dial-a-Song version：
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here wondering how you
Can stand by your racist friend
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here wondering how you
Can stand by your racist friend
It was the loveliest party
That I've ever attended
If anything got broken
I'm sure it could be mended
But my head can't stand this bobbin' and pretendin'
Tolerate some bullethead and the bullshit that he's sayin'
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here listening to your
Your racist friend
This is where the party ends
I'll just sit here wondering how you
Can stand by your racist friend
It was the loveliest party
That I've ever attended
If anything got broken
I'm sure it could be mended
My head can't stand this bobbin', sittin' and pretendin'
Tolerate some bullethead and the bullshit that he's sayin'
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here listening to your
Your racist friend
This is where the party ends
I'll just sit here wondering how you
Can stand by your racist friend
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here listening to your
Your racist friend
This is where the party ends
I'll just sit here wondering how you
Can stand by your racist friend
This is where the party ends
This is where the party ends
This is
19.Why Does The Sun Shine(The Sun Is A Mass Of Incandescent Gas)
Vocal：John Flansburgh／John Linnell
The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is built into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees
Yo ho, it's hot, the sun is not
A place where we could live
But here on Earth there'd be no life
Without the light it gives
We need its light
We need its heat
We need its energy
Without the sun, without a doubt
There'd be no you and me
The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is built into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees
The sun is hot
It is so hot that everything on it is a gas： iron, copper,
aluminum, and many others.
The sun is large
If the sun were hollow, a million Earths could fit inside. And
yet, the sun is only a middle-sized star.
The sun is far away
About 93 million miles away, and that's why it looks so small.
And even when it's out of sight
The sun shines night and day
The sun gives heat
The sun gives light
The sunlight that we see
The sunlight comes from our own sun's
Atomic energy
Scientists have found that the sun is a huge atom-smashing
machine. The heat and light of the sun come from the nuclear
reactions of hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, and helium.＊
The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is built into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees
Notes
＊Live versions of this song are improvised extensively. Some
variants on this section：
Scientists have found that the sun is a huge atom-smashing
machine. The heat and light of the sun are caused by the nuclear
reaction between hydrogen, nitrogen, carbon, and helium.
Scientists have found that the sun is a huge atom-smashing
machine. The heat and light from the sun come from the nuclear
reaction between oxygen, hydrogen, helium, and hydrogen.
You know, Frank, scientists have found that the sun is a huge
atom-smashing machine. The heat and light from the sun are
caused by the nuclear reaction between hydrogen and you, Frank
O'Toole.
Scientists have found that the sun is a huge atom-smashing
machine. The heat and light from the sun come from the nuclear
reaction between hydrogen, nitrogen, helium, carbon, boron,
chloron, fluoron, moron, and estrogen.
20.They'll Need A Crane
Vocal：John Linnell
Love sees love's happiness
But happiness can't see that love is sad
That love is sad
Sadness is hanging there
To show love somewhere something needs a change
They need a change
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To take the house he built for her apart
To make it break it's gonna take a metal ball hung from a chain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To pick the broken ruins up again
To mend her heart, to help him start to see a world apart from
pain
Lad's gal is all he has
Gal's gladness hangs upon the love of lad
The love of lad
Some things gal says to lad aren't meant as bad
But cause a little pain
They cause him pain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To take the house he built for her apart
To make it break it's gonna take a metal ball hung from a chain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To pick the broken ruins up again
To mend her heart, to help him start to see a world apart from
pain
Don't call me at work again no no the boss still hates me
I'm just tired and I don't love you anymore
And there's a restaurant we should check out where
The other nightmare people like to go
I mean nice people, baby wait,
I didn't mean to say nightmare
Lad looks at other gals
Gal thinks Jim Beam is handsomer than lad
He isn't bad
Call off the wedding band
Nobody wants to hear that one again
Play that again
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To take the house he built for her apart
To make it break it's gonna take a metal ball hung from a chain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
To pick the broken ruins up again
To mend her heart, to help him start to see a world apart from
pain
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
They'll need a crane, they'll need a crane
They'll need a crane
21.I Palindrome I
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
Someday mother will die and I'll get the money
Mom leans down and says, 'My sentiments exactly,
You son of a bitch'
I palindrome I (I palindrome I)
I palindrome I (I palindrome I)
And I am a snake head eating (snake head)
The head on the opposite side (snake head)
I palindrome I (manonam)
I palindrome I (manonam)
See that bulletproof dress hanging from the clothesline
See the medical chart with the random zig-zag
Now I'll help it decide
I palindrome I (I palindrome I)
I palindrome I (I palindrome I)
And I am a snake head eating (snake head)
The head on the opposite side (snake head)
I palindrome I (manonam)
I palindrome I (manonam)
I palindrome I (manonam)
I palindrome I (manonam)
'Son I am able,' she said 'though you scare me.'
'Watch,' said I
'Beloved,' I said 'watch me scare you though.' said she,
'Able am I, Son.'
See the spring of the grandfather clock unwinding
(Egad, a base tone denotes a bad age)
See the hands of my offspring making windmills
(Egad, a base tone denotes a bad age)
Dad palindrome Dad
I palindrome I (I palindrome I)
I palindrome I (I palindrome I)
And I am a snake head eating (snake head)
The head on the opposite side (snake head)
I palindrome I (manonam)
I palindrome I (manonam)
I palindrome I (manonam)
I palindrome I (manonam)
Notes
Dial-a-Song had a substantially different song with the same
name. This piece, which had a different melody and was sung by
Flansburgh instead of Linnell, goes as follows：
I Palindrome I
Born on the 5th of July
One door shut, another one closed
I Palindrome I
She king of Brooklyn she
Master of all she surveys
Lives a life unencumbered by me
She king of Brooklyn she
Man, when I was a young man
Not like I'm driving a rocking chair now, but
Man, when I was a young man
I was free
I Palindrome I
Mister 5th of July
One door shut, another one closes for
I Palindrome I
Man, when I was a young man
Not like I'm driving a rocking chair now, but
Man, when I was a young man
I was free
I Palindrome I
Something just fell on my head
Born on the 5th of July
I Palindrome I
I Palindrome I
I Palindrome I
Something just fell on my head
Something just fell on my head
22.Put Your Hand Inside The Puppet Head
Vocal：John Flansburgh
As your body floats down Third Street
With the burn-smell factory closing up
Yes it's sad to say you will romanticize
All the things you've known before
It was not not not so great
It was not not not so great
And as you take a bath in that beaten path
There's a pounding at the door
Well It's a mighty zombie talking of some love and posterity
He says 'The good old days never say good-bye
If you keep this in your mind：
You need some lo-lo-loving arms
You need some lo-lo-loving arms'
And as you fall from grace the only words you say are
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Ads up in the subway are the work of someone
Trying to please their boss
And though the guy's a pig we all know what he wants
Is just to please somebody else
If the pu-pu-puppet head
Was only bu-bu-busted in
It would be a better thing for everyone involved
And we wouldn't have to cry
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Memo to myself： do the dumb things I gotta do
Touch the puppet head
Quit my job down at the carwash
Didn't have to write no-one a good-bye note
That said, 'The check's in the mail, and
I'll see you in church, and don't you ever change'
If the pu-pu-puppet head
Was only bu-bu-busted in
I'll see you after school
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
23.John Lee Supertaster
Mr. John Flansburgh：When I was 39 years old, I heard a story.
superpowers.
These people are called Supertasters.
To a Supertaster, bitter fruits taste far more bitter, and
sweets far more sweet.
Then, just a few months ago, I had the chance to meet a real,
live Supertaster named John Lee.
And this is his true story：
Nothing tastes the same (nothing tastes the same)
To a Supertaster (Supertaster)
When he tastes a pear (tastes a pear)
It's like a hundred pears (it's like a million pears)
He's got superpowers (superpowers)
He is a Supertaster (Supertaster)
Every flavor explodes (explodes and explodes)
Explodes and explodes
John Lee Supertaster
Tastes more than we do
Everything has a flavor
Some flavors are too much
Can't shut his mouth (can't shut his mouth)
'Cause he's a Supertaster (Supertaster)
Though he looks like a man (talks like a man)
He is a Supertaster (Supertaster)
Can't drink coffee or beer (coffee or beer)
'Cause he's a Supertaster (Supertaster)
Loves ice cream and pie (ice cream and pie)
He is a Supertaster
John Lee Supertaster
Tastes more than we know
Everything has a flavor
Some flavors must go
24.Older
You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
And now you're older still
Time is marching on
And time is still marching on
This day will soon be at an end
And now it's even sooner
And now it's even sooner
And now it's even sooner
This day will soon be at an end
And now it's even sooner
And now it's sooner still
You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
And now you're older still
25.We're The Replacements
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
And we're playing in a rock'n'roll band (we're playing in a
rock'n'roll band)
We're having a good time (we're)
We're having a good time (we're)
We're having a good time (we're)
Rock'n'rollin' 'til the break of dawn (Rock'n'rollin' 'til the
break of dawn)
Hey, where's Tommy？ Someone find Tommy
We're out on the road
Moving equipment, where's the equipment
Soon we're going home
Then we'll have a party (then)
Then we'll have a party (then)
Then we'll have a party (then)
Rock'n'rollin' 'til the break of dawn (Rock'n'rollin' 'til the
break of dawn)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
Hi, we're the Replacements (hi)
And we're playing in a rock'n'roll band (we're playing in a
rock'n'roll band)
I don't wanna!
Hi
Hi
Hi
We're playing in a rock'n'roll band
We're
We're
We're
Rock'n'rollin' 'til the break of dawn
26.Dr.Evil
Evil
Evil is his one and only name
Evil
In his mind there is no other game
When your name is Evil that is good
Or so you think
But you're so very wrong
It's evil
But being wrong is right
So then you're good again
Which is the evilest thing of all
Do you find his subtle ways invite you
Does he excite you？
If his contradictions should attract you
Should he distract you
Heaven help you then
You're finished, it's the end
There'll be no retrieval
From the evil
The evil he will do
He's evil
He's Dr. Evil
His name is Evil
27.No
No is no
No is always no
If they say no, it means a thousand times no
No plus no equals no
All nos lead to no no no
Finger pointing, eyebrows low
Mouth in the shape of the letter O
Pardon me -- No!
Excuse me -- No!
May I stay？
Can I go？
No, no, no
Do this -- No!
Don't do that -- No!
Sit, stay, roll over
No, no, no
Finger pointing, eyebrows low
Mouth in the shape of the letter O
Red means stop. Do not go.
No, no, no
28.Clap Your Hands
Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Stomp your feet
Stomp your feet
Stomp your feet
Stomp your feet
Stomp your feet
Jump in the air
Jump in the air
Jump in the air
Jump in the air.
29.Spider
Vocal：John Linnell／John Flansburgh
Ladies and gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen
Spider
He is our hero
Spider
Get rid of
Spider
Step on spider
Spider
We love you spider
I promise not to kill you
Spider
Spider
We love you spider
Spider
Get rid of
Spider
Must stop
Spider
He is our hero
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